Wednesday, August 30, 2006

wish i were on a beach today (and a dog, come to think of it)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

the gem sweater will dominate your mind

just when you think life isn't worth living anymore, 'gem sweater' comes into your life like a gentle unicorn

Monday, August 28, 2006

on tonight's episode of "republican wingnuts"...

katharine harris is at it again. in a recent interview with the florida chapter of the southern baptist convention's newsletter, she says that the separation of church & state is "a lie" and that electing non-Christians to office allows god's will to be undone via "the legislation of sin." oh, the reason the separation of church & state is a lie is because god "chooses who are leaders will be."

i guess god messed up initially when he baked little catherine up in her mother's oven, and now he has willed her to have full-on facial reconstruction, and conveniently just around the time that her 'long-in-the-tooth' years have begun:

Thursday, August 24, 2006

my arthritic back's 15 minutes of fame

those of you who have been in my presence lately have been treated -- up close and personal -- to what appears to be my ongoing audition for the part of 'igor' in the next 'frankenstein' remake.

for those of you who haven't witnessed the arthritic, stooped gait of yours truly, peer just behind the curtain, past the lovely (and extremely well-postured) miss jessica simpson, and you can catch for yourself a fleeting glimpse of the agonizing beauty that is me and my back pain:

this man has my career

believe it or no, but i, too, know every word to anita baker's "you bring me joy." why not me, lord? why not me?

Friday, August 18, 2006

we sight celebrities so you don't have to!

the latest, seen at a tuesday night screening of 'another gay movie' (another post for another time, but avoid at all costs unless you have had a longstanding desire to see what richard "i-won-'survivor'-now-i'm-on-suicide-watch-in-prison" hatch's penis and scrotum look like):

no, not kayne, or 'kandy kayne' as i like to call flamey mcflamerton, but the other dizzy queen, robert best!

now, you may think to yourself, "i can't believe he was so lame as to post that guy--he's not a celebrity!" and i would say to you, if i could hear your thoughts aloud, "well, don't worry---i will have plenty of celebrity sightings to bring to you, and STAT!"

stay tuned!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

i plan to close my eyes when ann coulter appears on screen

this should be worth $10 and the price of a medium coke, small lightly-buttered popcorn, and a box of junior mints:

Preview - Al Franken: God Spoke

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I Think We Have Another Diva Meltdown on Our Hands

Rest easy, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, et al -- someone else has risen through the ranks to claim your Crown of Crazy

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

we can't afford to be innocent

thanks to a recent post at 2am Buzz , pat benatar's 'invincible' has been playing in my head for the last 24 hours. which then made me think of this:

which then made me think of my poor mother, charging a dollar-a-dance to the greasy men in their polyester suits. deutschmarks or dollars, american express did nicely, thank you. ah, mi madre, in her worn jordache, with a roach clip dangling from her 'klute'-era jane fonda shag haircut.

oh wait...that's the mother i wished i had. silly me.

in other news, apparently spike lee blows condeleeza rice's 'ferragamogate' wide open in his new documentary on katrina. that particular story really gets my goat (what does that mean, anyway?) because of the obvious similarities to marie antoinette -- and i don't mean kirsten dunst in a powdered wig, ok? in case you missed it, here 'tis:

america's imelda

that pic was taken just minutes after her planned trip to Designer's Shoe Warehouse (DSW) was cancelled so that she could participate in conference calls with the press in which she called lieberman's defeat in connecticuit a clear sign from wacko liberals to 'al qaeda types' that said wacko liberals hate america.

loved the season premiere of 'weeds' last night, especially the teaser from next week's episode and its mary cheney reference. elizabeth perkins was fabulous, and i'm not just saying that because we were at adjoining tables at dinner two weeks ago.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

embarrass fido, we must

who am i?

...that's the question i asked as i found myself loving the hbo sitcom, 'lucky louie.' it's an nc-17 'roseanne' with a male protagonist, and i loves it! i read some scathing reviews of it and avoided it as a result, but when one is having back trouble and must lay for long amounts of time flat on the floor, one needs television to ease the pain and keep one from gnawing off one's arm in frustration. so i caught up with a few epsidoes on hbo on demand and found myself laughing in spite of myself. one word of warning, however---it's probably the most non-PC show on tv. lots of words tossed around, like 'fag' and that really awful word that starts with 'c' and ends with 't' (and i don't mean 'cat')--though tossed around to very comic effect. anyway, you've been warned.

in other news: oy, my back! i've been plagued with a strange back/leg pain for the last month that is defying diagnosis, so i am getting a firsthand look at what a bubblin' crock of shit our healthcare system actually is. i'll throw a rant your way sometime in the near future -- for now, i must grab a bag of frozen peas to use as a poultice on my tender joints. unfortunately, it can't be all glamour all the time 'round here, as hard as it may be to believe.

ps---could 'project runway 3' be any better? i feel the fog of pain lifting just from thinking about the deliciousness that is angela getting her hands on yet another rosette tonight!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

shout out the phriedziest blogger south of sunset for the introduction on her fabulous
  • 2 am Buzz
  • -- a must read (and a 'holla' and 'welcome' to the newest member of the palm springs drinking association (PSDA)!)

    almost paradise

    ok, so i'll end the suspense. the star formerly known as my row-mate at the arclight was...

    yes, that's right. mr. six degrees himself.

    also spotted, in order of appearance:

    holy moly...thatsa lotza celebrities! the best part was literally sitting next to kevin bacon & kyra sedgwick for the 8:10 showing of 'little miss sunshine' (highly recommended, btw). the worst part -- playing 'six degrees of kevin bacon' using the stars of 'little miss sunshine' in my head through the movie with him sitting right next to me (for instance: greg kinnear was in 'as good as it gets' with jack nicholson who was in 'a few good men' with...kevin bacon!). and in case you're wondering, they both enjoyed the movie immensely. esp. kyra, with her throaty laugh (courtesy of two-packs-a-day of virginia slims ultra lights menthol 100s, perhaps?)