Wednesday, January 31, 2007

she went down fighting

hotbed of intellectualism

l.a. gets a bad rap, no doubt about it. for instance, a friend who lives elsewhere recently made reference to l.a.'s 'plasticity.'

i understand this perception, because i had it myself during the many years i spent in san francisco. l.a.-hating seeps into your dna within minutes of setting up residence in the bay area.

i also understand this perception because there are incontrovertible proof points, such as the photo you see above, pulled from someone's flickr stream of photos taken on a trip here that they've entitled 'ridiculous l.a.'

at the same time, i dare say that most major cities in the u.s. have their very own brand of peroxided, boob-expanded women and 'night at the roxbury' men. in fact, i've seen them with my own eyes in places like cedar rapids, iowa, and alexandria, virginia, and chicago, illinois, and, god knows, every city i've ever visited in texas.

so imagine the vindication and sense of pride i felt when i walked out of my front door yesterday and past the four adjoining houses, all of which had just received their mail deliveries, the magazines from which will not fit through our mailslots. turned face up on each and every doorstep, including ours, was the latest issue of the new yorker.

eat that, l.a. detractors!

so, yes, there is plasticity in l.a., but there are many distinct l.a.'s, and to subscribe to the stereotype is to miss out on the vibrancy and variety that a metropolitan area numbering 13 million people will invariably have.

and if you travel here forgetting to bring your latest issue of the new yorker, don't worry: we got plenty!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

from the 'those little shits' file

Monday, January 29, 2007

take a stroll down memory lane with lyrical robot, won't you?

ever since i posted that kate bush video, i've been lost in an '80's haze, my arms clad in reams of jelly bracelets and my hair gelled just so with dippity-do.

so that i'm not alone in my nostalgic reverie, i'd like to ask you to join me in viewing the first ever live performance by a little lady from detroit, michigan. you know her as 'madonna,' i know her as close personal friend. regardless, there's no denying that she had star power even as she strutted across the stage at danceteria way back in 1982, an almost-complete unknown:


we see overrated oscar hopefuls so you don't have to

i'm back, and better than ever, armed with a slew of mini-reviews for those of you looking to save your $11 and the cost of junior mints, small buttered popcorn (not too much, please), and medium coke on movies that are lackluster at best.

in the latter category, please consider 'breaking and entering,' the newest film from brit director anthony minghella. i am all for anything set in contemporary london, esp. the contemporary london of this movie, which is overly concerned with architecture, urban renewal, clashing cultures, etc.

despite the compelling premise, minghella manages to totally miss the mark with this weirdly antiseptic and absurdly plotted film concerning what happens when jude law cheats on robin wright penn with juliette binoche, whose son is repeatedly 'breaking and entering' into jude law's recently completed architectural marvel of an architectural office, replete with banks of glistening white macs that keep having to be replaced (this film is constantly verging dangerously into design aficianado porn--sign me up!). throw in a really annoying preteen daughter of robin wright penn's character that everyone is very concerned about because she won't eat, instead opting for a steady diet of gymnastics and whining, and it's a real mess. is it bad to say my favorite part is when jude law takes said annoying teen to a construction site and she is injured while pirouetting on a stack of pvc pipe? don't answer that.

next: 'pan's labyrinth,' or 'poo's labor-inth,' as i like to call it. am i just cranky, or is everything i'm seeing lately that is considered award-worthy just a pile of uninteresting dung? it's not that these movies are bad; it's that they are so patently not great, if you catch my drift. i'll admit i'm not much of a fantasy fan, but i really enjoyed 'the devil's playground,' guillermo del toro's last movie, and thought i would enjoy this, too. anyway, unless you are really into 20th century spanish history or a real fantasy freak (in which case you are probably too busy playing that dungeons & dragons thing that i keep hearing so much about these days), don't go into the labyrinth, i implore you.

i did see a movie i actually liked - 'little children' - but that will have to wait until another time when the deadlines aren't piling up and my typing fingers aren't so weary.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

29 ain't just a number

happy bday to reader and dear friend jgirl!

Friday, January 26, 2007

trump down, bush to go!

talk about 'subverting the dominant paradigm!' apparently, the revolution will be televised.

in case you were wondering where i've been this week...

here's what i've been up to. i don't think i look great in red, but whatever.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

misplaced aggression

check out how cheney deflects any criticism of focus on the family onto wolf blitzer:

Q We're out of time, but a couple of issues I want to raise with you. Your daughter Mary, she's pregnant. All of us are happy. She's going to have a baby. You're going to have another grandchild. Some of the -- some critics, though, are suggesting, for example, a statement from someone representing Focus on the Family:
"Mary Cheney's pregnancy raises the question of what's best for children. Just because it's possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father, doesn't mean it's best for the child."

Do you want to respond to that?


Q She's obviously a good daughter --

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I'm delighted -- I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf, and obviously think the world of both of my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question.

Q I think all of us appreciate --

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I think you're out of -- I think you're out of line with that question.

Q -- your daughter. We like your daughters. Believe me, I'm very, very sympathetic to Liz and to Mary. I like them both. That was just a question that's come up and it's a responsible, fair question.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I just fundamentally disagree with your perspective.

Friday, January 19, 2007

one thumb sideways

as promised, i'm back with yet another thrilling mini-review, this time of 'factory girl,' the trailer for which i savaged in an earlier post. turns out, it wasn't too bad. sienna miller, who i only know from tabloids (i mean, i hear she's in them a lot, i wouldn't know), was fantastic. hayden christensen as dylan: made my ears bleed. guy pearce as andy warhol: best warhol performance i've seen (much better than david bowie in 'basquiat' and somewhat better than 'jared harris' in 'i shot andy warhol.') the costume design was amazing and the set design was pretty good, too. ileana douglas appears in two scenes as diana vreeland and stinks up the joint but good.

plan to watch a few more this weekend and will return with battle tales for you all.

in the meantime, please enjoy a fantastic track i've been wearing out lately:

snow patrol & martha wainwright - set fire to the third bar

Thursday, January 18, 2007

uh oh - here we go

honk if you dislike dubya

my bff wordy nerdy just posted a hilarious list of anti-bushie bumperstickers which is well worth a check-out. my personal fave: "Of Course It Hurts: You're Being Screwed by an Elephant"

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

something's amiss

not to get all perez hilton on your asses, but is there something weird going on with brad pitt's face?

lately, every time i see his face, it seems there is something off about's got that 'i am older -- and you can tell it in little ways -- yet my face is strangely smooth' thing going on, right?

anyway, i think we needed a moment of shallow around here after my bush administration rants of the last few days, so hope you enjoyed our crystal light moment.

Monday, January 15, 2007

i didn't see the golden globes yet...

...however, i will be treating you to my brief but insightful reviews of some of the main contenders for this year's oscars (since i missed the opp to share my views on the golden globes).


'dreamgirls': i doubt jennifer hudson will win, but she was a bit of a revelation. i would like to ask any entertainment journalists who may be reading this to hereby refrain from referring to her performance as 'divalicous.' enough already. that said, beyonce looked like a drag queen throughout, so much so that i was left wondering if someone had played an in-joke on us and inserted rupaul into a few scenes. the movie itself is a total mess. i think it is probably more enjoyable on the big screen with loud sound, etc. (i saw a screener), but...ick. if you can't win my gay ass over, i don't think you're gonna get the beverly hills votes, know what i'm sayin'?

'babel': i didn't know what i thought of this when i first saw it (on my birthday---not the wisest choice as, in case you didn't know, it is a D-O-W-N-E-R), but it had easily the best performances of any film i saw this year, and i've found myself thinking about it on several occasions a month later. i'm kind of hoping this one wins something big.

'alpha dog' : ok, this isn't up for anything, and it came out this year, but i just saw it an hour ago, and it was surprisingly good. we went to see it primarily for the locations as our friend was responsible and our house was up for it, but it was pretty moving and the cast is fantastic. also a D-O-W-N-E-R. and justin timberlake was very good, in case you were wondering.

that's it for now, my peeps. back at a later date with even more of my fascinating opinions. just to give you a tish of a preview, i'll be discussing 'the queen,' 'bobby,' and 'the last king of scotland' if i can bring myself to watch it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

just so you know, you don't have a say

President Bush, facing opposition from both parties over his plan to send more troops to Iraq, said he has the authority to act no matter what Congress wants.

"I fully understand they could try to stop me from doing it. But I've made my decision. And we're going forward," Bush told CBS' "60 Minutes" in an interview to air Sunday night.

Vice President Dick Cheney asserted that lawmakers' criticism will not influence Bush's plans and he dismissed any effort to "run a war by committee."

"The president is the commander in chief. He's the one who has to make these tough decisions," Cheney said.

Friday, January 12, 2007

it ain't just us

as a native southerner, it's disheartening to so often read dispatches from the region that confirm people's stereotypical impressions of southerners (not to say that they aren't sometimes correct, but not everyone there eats possum and believes in scientific creationism...which was taught to me by my high school biology teacher, i might add -- er, i guess i'm not helping my case any here, am i?)

anyhoo, it's refreshing to see that idiots abound throughout this fair land of ours, even in granola-iffic seattle. enjoy:

"the bible says in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in 'the inconvenient truth'!"

Thursday, January 11, 2007

that's steam you see coming from my ears

condoleeza today said: "this is a time for a national imperative not to fail in iraq."

uh.....did we not go into this with an imperative 'not to fail'? or did she just let slip that this quagmire was intentional so that war profiteers can continue to make billions and billions of dollars off of an unwinnable war?

ok, i'm not so far gone as to believe that, but YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME WITH THIS!

i listened to the first three minutes of bush's speech last night, and this is what i heard, more or less:

"losing in iraq means losing the global war on terror"
"september 11th"

...and then i shut it off, though reading the news coverage today is not making me any less angry. and the only headline featuring condeleeza this morning on was "rice: 'i love fox news.'" anyone got a percocet? or an anvil you could just drop on my head?

i don't sight celebrities anymore

i'm sure i'll return to my stargazing activities one of these days, but i'm sequestered in palm springs while the great demolition of 2007 continues unabated at our l.a. home.

apparently i picked the wrong week to be out of the hood, because defamer is reporting quite a few sightings in ye olde nabe:

6 pm at the Los Feliz Nature Mart: I was apparently blocking a funkily bespectacled Chloe Sevigny from her crunchy this-or-that, until I eventually moved, and she shot my fiancee a look of exasperation. Must be hard to be smart and steadily employed in Hollywood--that is, if you still have to eat alone and do your own shopping.

· 1/7 Mexico City/Los Feliz
Joined some friends for a birthday shindig. Spotted the super hot Liev Schreiber with a cute dark haired girl who wasn't Naomi Watts. He's tall (yay!) and even better looking in person. Kathy Griffin was also there. She's looking pretty good, too. The white trench she was wearing was stunning.

· sunday jan. 7 - liev schreiber at the albertsons on hillhurst in los feliz contemplating the butter selection. the only reason i noticed him was because he stopped mid aisle to snack straight from a bag in his cart. oh stars, they're just like US. no naomi to be found.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

free association

i really like anderson cooper. he's my kind of anchor.

anyway, have you ever seen the diane arbus photograph taken of him when he was a newborn?

speaking of cnn, bush is going to address our pretty little nation tomorrow, at about hour 20 of the democrats' famous 100 hours. this should be interesting.

tonight i am watching 'bobby,' which i hear is horrible.

i am reading this crazy book, 'world war z,' a fictional oral history of how zombies took over the world in the 21st century. i don't know how i got interested in this, but it's fun and a little disconcerting.

speaking of zombies, i went to trader joe's tonight. someone high up the food chain there thinks it's funny to make those aisles so tiny and to let the wave of humanity regularly surging through there figure out how to deal. you know they watch that shit on closed circuit, yo.

why doesn't schwarzenegger just become a democrat already? sheesh. i have to say i'm impressed with the healthcare decision, but not as impressed as i am with that beautiful burnt siena color he's slowly become.

lili taylor, indie goddess, is the new voice of tylenol. i feel sad.

thank you, and good night.

Monday, January 08, 2007

the not-so-boob tube

after a lazy weekend, we'd settled down to some delicious bowls of chili courtesy of neighbor lady phriedz and the delicious premiere episode of 'the l word' and along came a big surprise.

first, let me divulge that 'the l word' is my most unlikely guilty pleasure...even i can't believe i watch it. lesbians are fine, but it's not like i'm one myself, and their sexual escapades don't hold a lot of interest for me generally. however, lesbians are human, too, and their foibles and fumbles as they try to make it in this crazy world of ours are just as captivating -- and real -- as the young people's struggles on 'laguna beach' or 'the real world.' (that's a joke, btw.)

anyhoo, i got sucked into the lesbalicious world of 'the l word' one sleepless night a couple of years ago, and i've yet to break free of their sticky, sapphic web. bad acting? check. clunky dialogue that makes your ears bleed? double check. hot lesbo action? triple check. hilarious attempts to make vancouver appear as l.a.? check, check, checkity-check. however, there are some genuinely appealing actors on the show (leisha hailey is a particular fave) and they occasionally rise above it all and deliver impressive performances, despite it all. and strangely enough, novelist a.m. homes and playwright adam rapp are both producers, showing that hollywood is indeed still in the 'strange bedfellows' business.

so, imagine my surprise and delight when an old friend of mine showed up on the show last night. i screamed and choked on my chili as my old friend donita (a woman) appeared as richard, a transgendered man leading a support group for transgendered people. the opening of her scene was shot in wide angle from far away, but i immediately knew the voice, intoning "i didn't fit into the dyke community and i wasn't accepted as a man, either" or something like that. then they pulled in for the close-up, and there was donita -- now 'dj,' according to the credits. i was tickled pink, literally! dj, if you're out there, shout out to your long-lost friend, hmmmkay?

btw, i wasn't as shocked as i might've been as dj was well on her way to himdom the last time i saw her, thanksgiving 97, i believe, when she came and spent the holiday with me in san francisco. the last time i saw her, she was heading for the airport dressed in a sailor suit with fake chest hair glued on. so yeah, that wasn't really a plot twist for me.

because of the cheese-a-riffic experience that 'the l word' already provided, we were primed for more cheese. first, 'you're the one that i want,' a reality show setting out to pick a new sandy and danny for yet another new production of 'grease' on broadway. seriously, i think it may have been the worst thing i've ever seen. and i'm hooked.

not content to stop with the gouda wedge that was 'you're the one that i want,' we decided to tackle 'the apprentice l.a.,' except for the mister, who had had enough cheese for one evening and left to avoid any further symptoms of lactose intolerance.

now, we knew that a friend of ours is being prominently featured on the show, but little did we know that said friend would show up in the 'coming next week' teaser at the end. i'm hoarse from screaming 'i know that person!' at the tv, but i feel as if i should make a new year's resolution to watch more tv if i want to keep in touch with friends, see what i mean?

Friday, January 05, 2007


ok, i know who my birth mama is, but if i didn't, i might think i'd found her:

back from the dead, and back again

i'm in a better mood today after going all the way with the angry young teen thing (think 'tp-ing' neighbors' houses, egging old lady jones' mailbox, and putting a bag of my own excrement on another neighbor's doorstep, ringing the bell, and then fleeing). of course, now that my foul temperment has dissipated, a foul cold seems to be taking its place. curses!

to top it all off, the mister is also sick and the realtor is on the way to show the house, which we recently put on the market. as my grandmother would say, 'lordy be!'

i feel a long weekend of netflix-watching comin' on, even though i really wanted to go see 'dreamgirls' -- after this craptastic week, i want to hear some ballad-belting, stat!

Thursday, January 04, 2007


today i am 15 years old. i am 'angry young teen.' beware! i will shove my converse all-star hi-top foot up the arse of any one who crosses me. grrrr.

there are days when everything conspires to aggravate, inflame and annoy, and today appears to be one of those days. double grrrr.

in honor of my adolescent mood, please enjoy the dulcet tones of morrissey & co. indulging in the kind of self-pity and angst i intend to root around in all day long (link expires in 7 days, dammit):

how soon is now?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

i have no shame...

...and that is why i am willing to share this story with you.

today i ran into the 7-11 on my way back from the post office to check my lotto ticket because my horoscope said i am going to receive a windfall between now and the 7th (see, told you i have no shame.)

here is what i was wearing on my trip to the 7-11: a vintage ski vest, black sweater, ratty khakis, bright yellow pumas, wool newsboy cap, and aviator glasses. imagine my surprise when i opened the door and in! literally, a guy walked in dressed in the exact same outfit, with only the colors differing. we pretended not to notice each other, of course.

as a result, i am rethinking my wardrobe. maybe a buddhist robe, crocs, and a hairnet. failing that, i will just start dressing my age. (of course, my doppelganger was 42 if he were a day).

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

something to look forward to

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006. Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring's heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

best wishes for a clean and sober 2007!

best of '06, part deux

i'm back and better than ever with the rest of the '06 list. hope y'all had a nice new year's and aren't as miserable as i am with returning to reality.

6) i like you - amy sedaris : we literally gave away about twenty copies of this book as xmas presents this year and the li'l smoky cheese ball recipe was served to happy mouths at our christmas eve potluck (featuring dishes from everyone's childhoods -- nostalgic and festive!). she gets my vote for funniest lady in show biz and the dust jacket alone is worth the price (and very frameable!).

7) the lee bros. southern cookbook : my momz picked this up for me for xmas and it was completely out of the blue. i'd never heard of these guys, nor their cookbook, but let me just say that we have tried two of the recipes from this bad boy and they rocked the house (not to mention the toilet, ba dum dum). this cookbook wins for most deceptive marketing practice in that the cover photo of said lee bros. shows two ridiculously groomed and tight-assed dweebs of the khakis-and-brass belt buckle-wearing southern variety, only to reveal in multiple photos within the book that they look like they are straight outta williamsburg (and i don't mean virginia). gone are the khakis and pinstripes, replaced with black ts, greasy hair, and ironic ray-bans. hats off to whoever realized they needed to make these two look like harmless bachelor uncles if they were gonna sell any books to southern baptist housewives. anyhoo, they are out to make southern cuisine respectable, and they are well on their way with this how-to/celebration of all things artery-clogging and delicious. they even have a radio show on martha stewart's satellite radio station, but i am too cheap to find out if it's any good. note to vegetarians: they claimed to find a way to make collards without using bacon or a hog jowl for flavoring, and that claim was false, though i'm not holding that against them.

and now, i regret to inform you that i am stopping at 7 best things of 06. i've got a shitload of work to do (vacation is hard, y'all!), but to make up for a lack of a nice, round top 10, here are some of my top picks for worst things about 2006:

1) Bush, Rummy, Condi, Dick, and the whole sorry lot
2) My father's sudden devotion to Fox News
3) Global freaking warming ('we're just warming up, folks!')
4) Sudden lack of time for reading, video-watching and just laying back, suckin' on gin and juice
5) Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, et al
6) My bad back
7) The War on Christmas (j/k)