'in the end i was the mean girl...'

ok, so i need to gush again over a recording artist. this time it's neko case. ever since my friend darla turned me on to her cover of aretha franklin's 'running out of fools' several years ago, i've been somewhat obsessed. (that's not her in the pic, btw...i'm gettin' to that. dang!)

which brings me to one of my all-time best memories EVER! seeing neko case in a 100-seat theater here in l.a. at a general admission show where we happened to snag front row seats. oh my lordy lord, what a voice that woman has. so, if you haven't picked up her new album (and her best, in my opinion), you must....buy.....now:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CS4L1E/sr=8-1/qid=1147973580/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-4810562-9382224?%5Fencoding=UTF8

anyhoo, she performed at that show with a woman named rachel flotard -- a siren with as enchanting a voice as neko's and a wit that wouldn't quit, as they say.i didn't know who she was until i engaged in an 18-minute bout of obsessive googling one day (when i was very busy with other things, natch). turns out she is the lead singer of a band named visqueen, but is also a love-advice columnist. interestingly enough, she is even funnier in print. and if you don't believe me, read this:

Dear Rachel,

Hi! So, like, I've been trying to find cute boiz thru like myspace n stuff. It's hard!!! LOL!! My profile is really pretty, hahah, I worked really hard on it so that the colors would like look good with my picture and stuff. I'm really cute and boiz really like me, but all the guys on myspace have all these ho's leaving them comments and stuff that are all slutty! LOL!!!

So, like, I'm jealous I guess. I mean, all these guys seem really smart and cool. How do I meet one for real without all those ho's all over him? I totally want a boyfriend cuz I'm starting college this year and totally won't be able to get into a sorority without a boi!! LOL!!!!

Help!!!

Peace out!! - Sandy


Peace in, Sandy.

Either I am the Smucker's Jam celebrity geriatric of the week who just turned 1000, or I'm completely out of touch with today's youth.

If people talked like that in person, I would drive to France, dig up Napoleon's glove, drive back, and slap them like a hand-jive at Antoinette's house. Half the fun of sarcasm is that the dipstick you're corresponding with takes it seriously for a sec, but then gets it. Here you come out of the gates pulling the Shecky Greene relief pin, white flagging the reader to go on ahead and cut up.

I may be guilty of making up words like "bangdiggity,""scamulet," or "douchenetics," but I am full-on Facts McGee when I tell you firing off smiley-winks and LOL-zoinks like Bonnie Graham Bell invented the telephone, will only get you into the University of Choad, Brass Plum Academy, or majoring in legwarmers and shaving Z's in scalps.

You just lit your High School grad gown on fire and are about to rage pole-position on this country for 'Oldie Hawns like me. Babylady, pick up some Shakespeare instead of MySpacing every tragic piano-tie-busily-fucking-up-Loreal-Preference-directions-and-trying-to-grow-muttonchops-by-concentrating fellow.

xo
Rach

for more, visit www.threeimaginarygirls.com