Monday, January 29, 2007

we see overrated oscar hopefuls so you don't have to

i'm back, and better than ever, armed with a slew of mini-reviews for those of you looking to save your $11 and the cost of junior mints, small buttered popcorn (not too much, please), and medium coke on movies that are lackluster at best.

in the latter category, please consider 'breaking and entering,' the newest film from brit director anthony minghella. i am all for anything set in contemporary london, esp. the contemporary london of this movie, which is overly concerned with architecture, urban renewal, clashing cultures, etc.

despite the compelling premise, minghella manages to totally miss the mark with this weirdly antiseptic and absurdly plotted film concerning what happens when jude law cheats on robin wright penn with juliette binoche, whose son is repeatedly 'breaking and entering' into jude law's recently completed architectural marvel of an architectural office, replete with banks of glistening white macs that keep having to be replaced (this film is constantly verging dangerously into design aficianado porn--sign me up!). throw in a really annoying preteen daughter of robin wright penn's character that everyone is very concerned about because she won't eat, instead opting for a steady diet of gymnastics and whining, and it's a real mess. is it bad to say my favorite part is when jude law takes said annoying teen to a construction site and she is injured while pirouetting on a stack of pvc pipe? don't answer that.

next: 'pan's labyrinth,' or 'poo's labor-inth,' as i like to call it. am i just cranky, or is everything i'm seeing lately that is considered award-worthy just a pile of uninteresting dung? it's not that these movies are bad; it's that they are so patently not great, if you catch my drift. i'll admit i'm not much of a fantasy fan, but i really enjoyed 'the devil's playground,' guillermo del toro's last movie, and thought i would enjoy this, too. anyway, unless you are really into 20th century spanish history or a real fantasy freak (in which case you are probably too busy playing that dungeons & dragons thing that i keep hearing so much about these days), don't go into the labyrinth, i implore you.

i did see a movie i actually liked - 'little children' - but that will have to wait until another time when the deadlines aren't piling up and my typing fingers aren't so weary.

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