a musical theater moment

(swirly flourish and then...)

it was a crazy weekend
who knew it would be so crazy
i drank and i smoked
and then i felt so lazy

someone started a mean rumor
and we had to squelch it
sometimes adults act like children
that juice, is it by welch's?

we went to the golf course
and stunk it up real good
i love to be outdoors, though,
and drink beer like this white boy should

the oscars are coming up
but i'm too tired to blog it
because i am a slob
but i still know how to rock it

our house is selling
but is it really?
you never know
with a market that's wily nily

my hair is falling out
even though i'm a youthful (cough) 29
i don't want to be on rogaine
i'm hoping there are follicle-restorative properties in wine

so that's my musical musing
i hope you found it pleasing
my dog is really farting
it's time to start febrezing