greetings from the home of costco

in seattle today -- had to fly up for a meeting that ended way early, and now i am stuck at the sea-tac airport with three hours to call. help!

funny, though -- there is a hip young thing next to me on a bench and she is reading an apparently new harlequin romance paperback. i had no idea they still published those things! maybe i should check them out. the title of this one is "because of our child." i like to finish the thought, such as:

"because of our child, i had to have vaginal rejuvenation surgery."
or
"because of our child, i now sleep with a shotgun and baseball bat under the bed because he appears to be possessed by a demon."
or
"because of our child, i had to shoplift three bags of combos and an enema from the long's drug store."