Wednesday, March 29, 2006

another one too good not to pass along...

you can tell i'm having a terribly productive day.

the wisdom of mcsweeney's

this is from mcsweeney's and too good not to post here---esp. since it dovetails so nicely with my 'crash' hatred:

- - - -
ME: Are we working tonight?
ME: This sucks.
CO-WORKER: I can't freakin' stand those Indians.
ME: I'm part Cherokee.
CO-WORKER: Then why don't you go smoke a peace pipe and get the hell out of my country?
- - - -
FRIEND: How was work?
ME: Not bad. The usual stuff. Yourself?
FRIEND: I sure hate those Mexicans.
- - - -
WAITER: Can I take your order?
ME: I'll have the club sandwich, easy on the mayo.
WAITER: To drink?
ME: Why are you people always asking me what I want to drink?
ME: You heard me.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

halliburton is bad!

a new report shows that halliburton failed to purify the water supply for u.s. soldiers in iraq, which, in one instance, could've caused "mass sickness or death." did i mention they were being paid to purify the water? and what do you bet everyone of the folks responsible has a 'support our troops' sticker on their automobile.

in more heartening news, jessica simpson has snubbed our president. LOVE IT!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"'s like a valentine from your mother"

you know how you get a song stuck in your head and you can't shake it out? "Melt Your Heart" from Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins Rabbit Fur Coat has been stuck in my head for two days and counting.

i heart her so much to begin with, but this song is B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

other thoughts: i watched Garden State last night. i know it's sappy and a bit manipulative and all, but gets me! maybe because i am also sappy and manipulative?

also watched The Sopranos and Big Love debuts. what is it about the sopranos that just picks you up and shakes you around and throws you back down an hour later? it's just incredible. i think big love will shape up nicely as well, but is still no replacement for Six Feet Under.

that's pop-culture thoughts of the day, over and audi 5000. btw, if you don't believe me about jenny, the whole album is streaming at

Monday, March 13, 2006

bill maher's hair ate my twinkies, and other tales

i am sufficiently unthawed from the recent chilly (and i mean CHILLY) weather we had here in los angeles to blog once again.

probably the chilliest moment i experienced was at CBS Television City (the official name of the CBS studios here in L.A.), or should i say series of moments. we got tickets to the bill maher show, which was great. what was not so great was being herded like cattle onto 12-inch wide aluminum benches (wait---i think they may have qualified as poles, not benches....they were too uncomfortable, metallic, and shallow to serve as benches. that said, i thank you to keep your minds out of the gutter now that i've effectively written that i was herded onto a pole).

anyhooz, once we were sufficiently herded, we were left to wait. for one and one-half hours. in 30-mile-per-hour winds with the temperature hovering somewhere around 39 degrees.

you can imagine our relief upon entering the warm, toasty studio. notice i used the word 'imagine'? that's because we DID have to imagine a warm, toasty studio, because -- wait for it -- it was even COLDER INSIDE THE STUDIO THAN IT WAS OUTSIDE! i was wearing a cashmere sweater and a down vest, and about ten minutes into the taping, i had to zip up the vest. and it's one of those vests that zips up to your nostrils. no matter - my nostrils were amongst the coldest parts of mine body at that point.

so, bill maher. his hair is even scarier in person and he is height-challenged. at the same time, he's a riot act and in the end, i'm glad i suffered for free entertainment of the highest order (though i have decided that one always suffers , one way or the other, when entertainment is free). best part: gloria steinem rockin' the house. sister was fierce, and not in a tyra-banks kind-of way.

btw, i apologize for teasing you with this post's title. there are no twinkies in this story, though god knows i could slam about twenty of the little darlings right about now.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

let's not and say we did

i don't want to talk about 'crash,' ok? let's pretend it was all just a crazy dream you have after eating lots of cheese before bedtime.