"oh this? it's called 'the bible'"

i was dismayed to read recently that (if i remember correctly), nearly 4 out of 10 americans read one or less books last year. however, that forty percent is a let less likely to end up in guantanamo than those of us who read on airplanes: (shiver)

i'm sure they had a field day with me on the way to london in may given that i was reading 'zodiac,' the nonfiction book on which the recent david fincer movie about the zodiac killer was based.

animal farm

my dear friend bon ton founded the ethicurean, and if you have any interest in ethical eating, you should definitely read it.

as someone who was raised in a fairly rural area, the whole factory farming thing was a real wake-up call to me. i can only remember coming across one factory farm in my entire twenty-two years in south carolina, and that was a chicken farm that i encountered a few months before i moved to california. in fact, i think my second encounter with one was passing harris ranch on the 5 on my first trip from san francisco to l.a. that's not to say they weren't all over the place in s.c. (in fact, i know now that they were), but i was just lucky enough to have limited exposure to them (though i'm sure our meals often centered around meats from these farms, we also ate lots of what my father killed -- which is another story for another time. but let's just say i don't eat duck, quail, deer or -- gulp -- dove, as an adult).

most of the farmers i knew were like the guy profiled in this story, the link for which was featured on the ethicurean's site. not in a direct comparison way, but in terms of size and type of farm. his comment about the link between animal rights abuses and human rights abuses struck me as dead on. i think there really is such a thing as 'happy meat.'

(photo by jeremy lange)

(sigh)

you'd think this asshole would have -- as we southerners like to say -- bigger fish to fry.

i hate tuesdays

it's tuesday, and that means it's rhetorical question time, kids! so pull up a chair and enjoy the bile:

* why is it that every contractor i've ever dealt with ends up acting like it's their farking house, not yours? i can barely work for the blaring radio, slamming doors, loud hour-long lunches on the patio and parade of visitors. not to mention the 'plumber's smile' the underwear-less head contractor is constantly giving everyone who crosses his path.

* have you ever noticed that people who go through 'the forum' come out acting like entitled and overly-verbal infants?

* does it make sense to give up cable if you're just buying any shows you're interested in seeing on dvd so you can watch at your leisure?

* have you ever noticed how difficult it is to get the plastic and "security device enclosed" stickers off of a new DVD? i just lost a nail and 20 minutes trying to get my 'invasion of the body snatchers" (1977 version) dvd open (will blog on this later; still have images from this movie seared into my brain from when i saw it at eight years old, and haven't seen it since)

* and lastly, why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

somewhere over the (insert voice breaking down here)

so last night we went to the hollywood bowl to see rufus wainwright perform his fourth and final homage to judy garland (previously seen at carnegie hall, the olympia in paris and the palladium in london). what did rufus bring us? a voice that couldn't keep up much beyond the first third of the show. and what's a rufus wainwright concert (much less a judy garland homage) without some old-fashioned, tree-rattling belting? unfortunately, the only one who provided us with that was lorna luft, judy's other daughter, in a pink dress that had to be seen to be believed.

that said, wainwright blows the socks off most other performers and is pretty genius no matter what shape his voice is in, so it was worth it. that said, i was ready to turn in my gay card after spending the evening around some crazy ass queens that apparently never get out of the house. i heard people addressed as "sister" multiple times, without irony. also, there were lots of beads of various sorts. on men. see what i mean? however, uber-hets rebecca romaijn formerly-stamos (or whatever) and her husband jerry o'connell (of 'stand by me' and 'kangaroo jack' fame) were in attendance, as were jake gyllenhaal and hilary swank, though the latter two i didn't see for myself.

the highlight: martha wainwright singing 'come rain or come shine' and 'stormy weather.' she brought the house down. she is as talented as her brother, and you owe it to yourself to pick up her album if you don't have it. interestingly enough, martha and rufus' estranged father, loudon wainwright iii, was seemingly not in attendance even though he lives in l.a. (and is enjoying a career resurgence due to the success of 'knocked up,' for which he wrote the majority of the music; 'grey in l.a.' is another must hear).

biggest surprise of the night: the chilly damp weather. thank god i wore my fur (and beads) and a fierce attitude, sister!

speaking of star-sightings, the mister and i went down the block to blair's for lunch today and who should we spot but miss dita van teese. she is literally flawless. sister!

ol' time religion

lordy be. saw the new pornographers last night, for the third time, and i think i'm starting a religion based on their live shows -- maybe a deadhead type of thing but with less patchouli and more american apparel hoodies. i don't think there is a 'tighter' band on the planet live, and i dare you to go to their live show and not get chills at least once as you get the full-frontal sonic assault of a 'the bleeding heart show' or 'use it.' if you're interested in whether they are coming to your fair city, check here. it's $20 from which you will see major roi, to borrow a popular business acronym.

sometimes i must admit i experience a little cultural whiplash moving back and forth between my daytime life and my (sometime) nighttime life. for instance, yesterday was spent flying to san jose, driving to novato for lunch with a wealth management firm (potential client), and then flying back alongside all of the other khaki-clad california economy road warriors, only to throw the sportscoat down upon arrival at home and ducking out to a rock-n-roll show. not a unique to me situation, to be sure, but somehow the banality of my day yesterday seemed particularly high contrast to the out-and-out fabulousness of my evening (did i mention we stopped at in-n-out before the show? ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhh).

seacrest out!

sometimes you just know there is a god

'keep it in the oven'

shalloween

oh, domino magazine
why do you make me love you so?
your shiny wares do entice me
and make my credit card go 'whoa!'

i am telling you right now, domino magazine is da shit! i love me some lovely high-design items and this magazine is chock full! i'm dying! i need some smelling salts or a sharp pinch to the kiester, because i have dominomania and there's no cure! somebody slap me! i can't stop marking pages for items i want (wait---NEED) to have! heroin, i'm leaving you for domino!

these old bones

that is the title of the worst dolly parton song ever (and despite what you might think, she has very few that aren't 100% amazing) but it is also how i'm feeling after the last week. a recap:

*48 hour trip to cleveland with two business dinners/drinking excursions

* 2 airport roundtrip taxi rides with LA yellow taxi, which is like 'mr toad's wild ride' at disneyland without the cute characters or promise of a corn dog at the end

* homeowner's associaton meeting, also deemed 'showdown at the ok corral,' which resulted in my being elected president. wtf?

* taking up tennis. after many years of not playing, the mister and i have taken up the racket again and have played for three days straight now. it's not as easy to run around the court as it was in the days of healthy lungs and lithe body, which have long passed, but it's fun & free, kind of like employee assistance program psychotherapy.

* a drunken evening of homemade spaghetti bolognese & blueberry blintz cheesecake (oh, and salad)

* more work insanity than you can shake a stick at

at least we did get a chance to work in a viewing of the 'step up' episode of 'jackie woodman.' boo-ya!

i did have a few minutes to get away while in cleveland

of all places

yes, i'm back in cleveland. what does a small businessperson need to do to get some clients in new york or miami or -- i'll say it -- paris? cause i'll do it. gladly and with much aplomb.

a few thoughts:

* there are lots of gays on the internets who are losing their shit over the britney thing, but i could care effing less (though it was rather pathetic)

* brazilian food is the new moroccan, apparently.

* the 'sex in the city' movie starts shooting next week. is it me, or does anyone else think it is going to suck donkey appendage?

* the new porngraphers' new album has grown on me considerably.

* would it kill continental to put some foam in their seats, 'cause it's sure killing my back.

* laura kightlinger is a genius, and if you haven't watched the season one dvd of 'minor accomplishments of jackie woodman,' the parade is passing you by.

* it's been twenty years since i stayed at a holiday inn and it will be another twenty before i do it again. i felt like i was under attack by the colors mauve and teal and their friend glade air freshener, cool mist scent.

hot ennui

goldenfiddle is one of my favorite sites (yet again, i'm highlighting the incomplete nature of my referral links by bringing you something that should be there already), but they hit it out of the park with this post

(confidential to bap: i'm still paying homage after all these years!)

hiyonara

that's faye "please stop me if you've seen me overact before" dunaway in 'eyes of laura mars,' one of the many treats found along the trail of our labor day getaway. watching this movie, there is no doubt that the hollywood/manhattan axis was experiencing some massive collective psychosis 'round about 1977 when this movie was made.

also, in the immortal words of sally kellerman, "do you ever feel like you have someone else's teeth in your mouth?"

in other news, the plumbing backed up here yesterday. i will spare you the gory details, but bleach was involved. and lots of it.

sometimes you feel like a nut

...sometimes you don't. and this weekend was one of those times where i felt blissfully un-crazy (which is far less common than it ever was before, lemmetellya). don't hate while viewing these pics of a fantabulous labor day weekend: