Monday, July 31, 2006

we are all made of stars

ok, first let me say this: i'm goofy about celebrities. however, with the exception of an ill-timed attempt to take camera photos of two 'buffy the vampire slayer' actresses as they got into their car at valet, i keep the shit together. i observe the unwritten rule that you do not notice the celebrity -- or, rather, you pretend not to notice the celebrity. some friends would say my googly eyes and not-so-subtle neck-craning actually violates that rule, but i say 'feh.' and 'move the hell out of my way---i can't get a good luck at charo with your fat ass in my face.'

anyhoo, i grew up in the sticks of south carolina, so i suspect it will always be a thrill to see celebrities up close and personal. we just didn't have any in my neck of the woods, and we had to be content to look at grainy pics of them in the first few pages of people magazine. yes, i spent more than one afternoon poring over back issues of people magazine while my friends & relatives were busy shooting something. i even spent an afternoon reading 'mommie dearest' in a boat in the middle of a duck pond with guns going off in the front and the back of the boat. but that is another story for another time.

now, to the point of this post. last night at the arclight---ground zero for a certain kind of celebrity, i've come to find---i hit the motherlode. i've posted a clue as to what motherlode i actually hit at the head of this post (it's tricky, but so am i). i will reveal it to you in another post when i am not ensconced at a hilton garden inn in the northern suburbs of san diego, running late for a chinese dinner in a nearby strip mall.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

karen hughes hissy fit

i can't think of a single person i like in the bush administration...well, except norman mineta, but he left earlier this month, one.

the person i like the least is karen hughes. first, she is completely unqualified for her job as undersecretary of state. second, have you seen that hair? third, she is a nasty piece of work. if you don't believe me, hunt up the video of her being interviewed by soledad o'brien this morning on CNN's American Morning. from the get-go, she goes on the defensive (surprise! when the chips are down, these bush admin folks' strategy is to deny, deny, deny and use the word 'values' any chance they get).

the most suprising part was soledad o'brien's obvious and rising frustration with ms. hughes ineloquent stonewalling. the more i watch the news, the more i notice reporters and anchors seem to have reached a breaking point with bush's mouthpieces' inability to spout anything other than whatever craptastic fake ass bullshit they concoct down there in cheney's secret bunker every morning. you know it's getting bad when soledad o'brien -- who i've always kind of viewed as a meeker katie couric -- comes out swingin'. hats off, soledad!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

the funniest thing i've ever seen

was turned onto this by the 2am Buzz (see blogroll to the right). the whole thing is hilarious, but the piece de resistance starts at about 1:00 during the video.

prepare to pee.

in the words of stevie nicks: "i'm getting older, too"

last night we went to see 'prairie home companion.' and i really, really liked it. is it too soon to apply for an aarp card?

robert altman is absolutely my favorite director ('nashville' is absolutely my favorite movie), but the subject matter of 'phc' couldn't have been of less interest to me. i've never gotten the appeal of garrison keillor, but i do now, and i think it's because i'm getting old. to me, the whole movie was one long elegy for a specific kind of america that no longer exists and, though i don't really mourn the loss of the america of that film, i did find myself mourning the losses of so much, so quickly, that we're experiencing on so many levels these days (for example: summers you could actually live through, geneva conventions, personal freedoms, the ability to make phone calls without wondering who knows you've made them, etcetera, etcetera). anyhoo, it was one swell flick, though lindsay lohan - albeit talented - shouldn't be cast in any movie where she has to be believable as anything other than a coke-addled, anorexic party girl. her real-life persona eclipses any fictional character she tries to play.

we were planning to see 'who killed the electric car?,' but got the times mixed-up. we were treated to the preview, and just based on that, i was ready to burn shit down. any environmental cautionary tales get me freaked out -- in part because i believe so strongly that we're up shit creek, but also because i feel so guilty for having leased an SUV for two years. i think i actually broke into hives during 'an inconvenient truth.'

Friday, July 21, 2006

sometimes i hate that i'm 30

from my email inbox today:

Be in WB’s now filming “SPRING BREAKDOWN”

ages 18-29 only!
filming in Long Beach, California
July 22nd, July 24th, July 25th, and July 26th (pick any one day)

Parker Posey (Superman Returns, Dazed & Confused)
Amy Poehler (SNL co-anchor of Weekend Update)
Rachel Dratch (SNL & co wrote Spring Breakdown)

Are you and your friends ready for a once-in-a-lifetime summer adventure…
And to be part of Moviemaking Magic.

All clean fun. No wet t-shirt contests (sorry). Just a great Beach Party with dancing and playing around. AND YOUR CHANCE TO ACTUALLY BE IN THIS FILM.
We know you like to party, so why not do it with the stars?

INFO & Sign-Up,

Here’s the story line:
“Best of friends and geeks since way back, Amy, Rachel and Becky uncharacteristically decide to take their annual vacation in South Padre for Spring Break, since Becky, who works for Senator Kay Be Rogers, has been assigned to keep an eye on the Senator’s allegedly wild daughter, Lindsay, who’s going to be in South Padre for Spring Break with her friends, Truvy and Lydia. When they discover that Lindsay and her friends are even more geeky than they are, everyone decides that this may be the perfect time for everyone to let down their hair and be wild and crazy for once in their lives.”

We’re the wild party! Hope to see you on the set. All the Stars are there with us for the scenes filming.

18-29??? damn my supple 30 year-old skin! if only i weren't just past the cut-off, i would so be there in my best spring break attire (which, as i recall, consisted of a hickey, a can of pabst blue ribbon, and some birdwells).

oh, the comic gold these three will spin. "Dancing and playing around"???? WHY NOT ME, LORD????

Thursday, July 20, 2006

cuteness o.d.

stars are blind

today i came across a comment on the internets that likened paris hilton to 'a fart in a mitten.' i don't know what it means, but i like it.

Monday, July 17, 2006

'grotesque'? i'll show you 'grotesque'!

again, could someone please direct me to whatever substance i should be huffing to get me to the place of pure idiocy that our leaders seem to have reached? take it away, george:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Extremists now appear to have been emboldened. The moderates appear to be in retreat. There is no peace process. There is war. How do you answer administration critics who say that the administration’s actions have unleashed, have helped unleash the very hostilities you hoped to contain?

RICE: Well, first of all, those hostilities were not very well contained as we found out on September 11th, so the notion that policies that finally confront extremism are actually causing extremism, I find grotesque.

oh, do you really?

...and in other news, Bush can talk and chew at the same time. Who knew? Seriously, I threw up a little in my mouth while watching:

Saturday, July 15, 2006

fire on the mountain!

(please note that the title of this post will be the first and last time a grateful dead reference will appear here at lyrical robot)

my mother and her friend joan picked the most lovely weekend to visit southern california. we have what cnn is terming "an inferno" going on 15 miles away and the predicted high for today is 120 degrees. yes, 120 degrees, the same temperature that many people set their toaster ovens to when re-heating a sandwich. imagine us as cute little sandwiches, slowly browning on the edges, with cheese melting down our sides -- that is what's in the cards for us this fine day.

and, for those readers who have shared in the wonder that is pappy & harriet's liquor license, here is a picture of what pioneertown looks like these days post-fire. luckily, they were able to save P&H as well as the main street, so drunken misadventures will continue unabated, albeit surrounded by a moonscape.

Monday, July 10, 2006

galleria. gall-gall-eria!

a little monday morning treats. headphones needed if you are in the office. go to the "let me borrow that top" track listed on the right hand side and click play.

(for some reason, i can't upload the link using blogger, so you'll have to copy and paste into your browser, but it's worth it)

walk of fame & shame

after a bday dinner in hollywood, we (literally) stumbled out to find a particularly illustrious star's star right in front of us!

but little did we know who's star we would happen upon as we (literally) stumbled to our divey destination, tiny's:

Friday, July 07, 2006

broken record much?

yes, but oh, how delicious this column by saint mark morford is:

George W. Bush Is Dead To Me
Nation cringes as the worst president ever continues long, painful slog to the end
- By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, July 7, 2006

It is like some sort of virus. It is like some sort of weird and painful rash on your face that makes you embarrassed to walk out the door and so you sit there day after day, waiting for it to go away, slathering on ointment and Bactine and scotch. And yet still it lingers.

Some days the pain is so searing and hot you want to cut off your own head with a nail file. Other days it is numb and pain-free and seemingly OK, to the point where you think it might finally be all gone and you allow yourself a hint of a whisper of a positive feeling, right up until you look in the mirror, and scream.

George W. Bush is just like that.

Everyone I know has had enough. Everyone I know is just about done. There is this threshold of happy deadened disgust, this point where the body simply resigns itself to the pain, a point where the disease, the poison has seeped so deeply into the bones that you just have to laugh and shrug it all off and go for a drink. Or 10.

I was having cocktails recently with a group of people, among whom were two lifetime Republicans, each in his 60s, corporate businessmen, one admittedly slightly more moderate than the other (to the point where, after once hearing a senator read off a long list of Bush's hideous environmental atrocities, actually let his conscience lead his choice and ended up voting for Kerry) but nevertheless both devoted members of the party.

Bush came up, as a topic, as a cancer, as a fetid miasma in the air. They were both shaking their heads. They were sighing heavily. They were both, in a word, disgusted. The more staunchly conservative of the two even went so far as to say he was so embarrassed and humiliated by this president, by this administration, so appalled at all the war atrocities and the wiretapping and the misuse of law, the fiscal irresponsibility and the abuse of the lower classes and the outright arrogance, that if the Dems could somehow produce a decent moderate candidate with a brain, he'd have zero problem switching allegiances and voting for him. Or her.

It may not sound like much. It may not seem like a major shift. But it is, in its way, sort of massive. For thoughtful Repubs with a conscience (they actually exist, I have seen them), there is little left to defend. There is little this administration has done among all categories of ostensible GOP values that they can look to with any sort of pride. Medicare? Shrinking the budget? Smaller government? Less intervention in our lives? Reduced spending? Increased respect in the international community? Responsible international citizen? Ha. Name your topic, BushCo has failed. Spectacularly. Intentionally.

Indeed, countless Dems were disappointed with Clinton's behavior during Monicagate. Many were ashamed that he would cheapen the office so badly by such trashy moral behavior.

But that was just a cheap little affair (our allies never understood all the fuss anyway). This was never the attitude toward Clinton's politics, his capacity to understand complex issues, his astounding political savvy. No one anywhere doubted he made the country richer, more environmentally conscious, more stable, more respected and admired. Clinton was globally adored not only for his charisma but for his contributions to world peace. Plus he could actually point to Afghanistan on a map.

What a difference a handful of years makes. Now, overseas, we are a joke. A threat. A toxin. We are considered reckless and arrogant and ignorant, dangerous not just to the rest of the world but to the overall health of the planet. No one anywhere understands how a man like Bush can be the leader of the Free World, stolen election or no.

Sure, smarter Europeans know full well that the United States is deeply divided between the pseudo-religious right-wing warmongers who control a tiny cadre of the powerful elite, and, well, everyone else. It does not matter. America's reputation as a powerful and respected diplomatic peacekeeper, as the nation that sets the standards for human rights and economic freedom and choice, is hobbled. Crippled. Is very nearly dead. How quickly can we recover? How much damage has been done? History will tell, and it will be ugly indeed.

Interesting feature interview with Al Gore in Rolling Stone recently. Gore mentions two amazing things: one is the discussion he's had with generals regarding Iraq, with one coming right out and admitting that Bush's disastrous Iraq war will go down as the worst invasion in American history, our greatest misstep, our most costly and debilitating mistake. Among top brass in the know, of this there is little question.

The other was about the discussions Gore's had with various major corporate CEOs about Gore's pet issue, global warming, and how obvious it is that 15 minutes after BushCo leaves office, we will have a radically new global warming policy. In other words, Bush won't do a thing about it in the next two years, despite how obvious it shall become that we are in crisis, simply because he can't risk finally coming out and admitting yet another enormous policy disaster. Not to mention how nearly six years of enviro policy abuse, from air quality to water to forestry to pollution deregulation on all his industrial pals, can't be undone with a smirk and a prayer.

Which is just another way of saying we are currently stuck. We are swirling around the bottom of the drain, clinging on to anything that might hold us from going under for just a little while longer. We have to let the neocon disease run its course, and just pray that at the end of it all the scarring and the pain and damage will not be so permanent, and so hideous, that we can't be seen in public for a decade.

This is where it stands: Bush can in no way risk alienating the ultra-right-wing bonk-job contingent that put him in office (they are, considering Bush's 32-percent approval rating, the only ones left even remotely supporting him -- even though, according to many estimates, they're starting to abandon him, too), and hence all policy and all agenda items from here on out will be even more vicious and desperate in an attempt to shore up the base. Hence trying to mutilate the Constitution to ban gay marriage. Hence attacking the New York Times and claiming newspapers are endangering American lives.

In other words, Bush's latest nasty, Rove-designed salvos and upcoming attacks to save a sliver of power and pride and sneering GOP control are just the beginning.

However -- praise Jesus and pass the scotch -- they are the beginning of the end.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

crazy from the heat

finishing up our annual trip to south carolina (socar) and heading back to southern california (socal) tomorrow. in the meantime, look at this cute pic our dogsitter took of our firstborn: